the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Randomize
