I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
