I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
