tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
