it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
