Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
