do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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