did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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