Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
