i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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