I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
