She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
