My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
