Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
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