she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
