Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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