i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
