I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
