this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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