As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
