i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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