If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
