If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
