No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
