Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
