It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
