girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
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