he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
It was a blind-side dick pic.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
