She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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