I need help removing her.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
