did you get engaged???
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
