there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Operation Purity has been aborted
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
