there was a trapeze. enough said
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
