Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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