HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
