They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
