I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Randomize
