I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
