There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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