Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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