At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
