there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
