Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
