yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
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