I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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