All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
