I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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