You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
is that a dick in a sweater?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
