Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
