Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
