Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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