it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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