There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize